| im 19 |
[29 Jul 2007|08:27am] |
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music |
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TBTF - kevin drew |
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so my birthday kicked off with a locked gate and an argument
but then i slept in until about 6 pm ate ruby tuesdays and, ended up going to a very different kind of place in roanoke
im still not sure what happened there
but i do know that we met a random guy named muppet on the way there and that was funny and odd as well.
as someone's away message has said for the last week "strange days" :p
i find myself contemplating what i want to do with my days and not finding an answer im satisfied with.
i wish ~ ~ that there was someone around when i got off work though. its when im the most awake, but everyone else is asleep here around 8am. It would be nice to walk down to Cup-A-joes but that just doesn't seem tangible. On account of i dont believe the owner man likes me, and i dont want to go there again when chelsea isnt working as its a long walk/bikeride and its hot outside now.
but to digress this song was on kenny's away message and is pretty amazing
i was reminded again yesterday of how much perception is reality. a kid who was ahving girl problems for a year and just always asked me questions, his parents sheltered him makign him socialy aquard and he remidned me of myself along time ago, befor ei moved to VA. But while he is still abit socialy aquard, hes now nabbed the finest looking girl. So mad props to him. It kind of gives me hope, we all set our sights on soemthing that makes us happy.
-financial stability,
-love of significant others
-love of friends
-good grades :p
and if you really put your mind to anything how it can be obtained.
i guess going back again to ~ if you can percieve your destination, your can percieve how to make it happen, and then it can become your reality ^_~
destinations i want ~
~to be back in school~
~to be driving~
~to feel financially secure despite the two $$ costs above
~to be with a girl who isnt just using me~
~to be with some new friends in my life, considering i've weeded a few out.
~to finally go on my long delayed plane ride.
and to see certain people more then i have over the last month or so.
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[25 Jul 2007|06:10pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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Dashboard - modest mouse |
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its my birthdya tonight
all bets are off!
the horses race
one breaks his leg, and dirt hits his face
one by one they round the bend
will this madness never end
its my birthday tonight
and i feel alright.
:p
lets see how this goes
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[25 Jul 2007|08:31am] |
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mood |
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 pleased |
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music |
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who says a funk band cant play rock!? - funkadelic |
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Maybe i might use this more.
My birthday is tomorrow. But in the coming rains i dont think i'll be able to enjoy the kind of celebration i had in mind.
i'll be 19
in recent news, my friends have fallen into heavy drug use.
i have become more secluded in my activities
While i have taught myself abstinence.
abstinence and moderation are two things i have learned to heart.
And i have learned a great deal about responsibility.
i have also quit smoking cigarettes after 3? years.
i have begun to grow as a person again. and thats something thats important to me.
i have learned to appreciate my job, and responsibilities, when before i viewed them only as chores to do more desirable things, they are no longer chores.
i still fear the duplicity of people
and am faced with it even now after all these years recent realization of people i thought were 'friends' deeply despising everything about me and spreading about how i wanted to get someone drunk and take advantage of them. thats a pristine example of something recent. and the first time i've come face to face with such unexpected civil discourage, since coles underhanded attacks on my character a year or so ago when he made a fake myspace of me and sent a message to j-new.
overall though i'm faring well. I'm proud of who i am currently, and my only concern is getting back into school... but thats a long term concern
my most immediate concern is if im going to do anything tonight
to celebrate my birthday?
two people have said they'd like to celebrate , well three. but one canceled
and the other two are wrapped up in busy lives and hard to stay in touch with to make steady plans
my only concern really is where can i celebrate at considering its raining outside.
joey's father apparently is a big poker player. i plan to brush up abit then maybe join his poker night. that may be fun, holding my own poker thing stopped happing about a year ago.
keeping up with this thing may be alright.
we'll see how it goes with that
and to anyoen who may read this ~ gooday
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[28 Apr 2005|02:21am] |
"The four errors. Man has been reared by his errors: first he never saw himself other than imperfectly, second he attributed to himself imaginary qualities, third he felt himself in a false order of rank with animal and nature, fourth he continually invented new tables of values and for a time took each of them to be eternal and unconditional, so that now this, now that human drive and state took first place and was, as a consequence of this evaluation, ennobled. If one deducts the effects of these four errors, one has also deducted away humanity, humaneness and 'human dignity'. " - Friedrich Nietzsche
---edit july 23rd 2007 --
i've made all of my old posts private
it gave me a strong sense of past and future
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